Mean Girls Club

A BIG BLOW TO SIN CITY? -- Jessica Alba says she's typecast because she's only getting offered roles as "whores" and "sexy maids."

The actress, who played a stripper in "Sin City," is suddenly a serious actress and wants parts offered to Natalie Portman. -- Did girlfriend miss the study that said "sexual content on TV is higher than ever (according to the Kaiser Family Foundation)."

Hey Alba, it's time to loosen up that bra, "everybody else is doing it!" -- join that special happy club-for-men!


Hey wait a minute, stop the presses isn't this the same chick that rented: "Latex and Fetish Island," (a spanking video) according to the National Enquirer.
These wannabee serious types; how quickly they turn on you.

Speaking to PageSix.com Alba said: "The scripts I get are always for the whore, or the motorcycle chick in leather, or the horny maid." -- Oh wow, sounds like another "double fisted trouser-rubbing" masterpiece to us here at the bosh.


"I get all those screenplays that start, 'Tawnya is in the shower," She says. "The water streams down her naked, perky breasts.' Somehow, I don't think this is happening to Natalie Portman."

Oh, Waaaah; boo-hoo, please no more perky breasts!


I'm tired of being just another pretty face!


Send me scripts where I'm a doctor saving the world from a bird flu.


NOTE TO ALBA: Wake up and smell the man sausage, spanking is fun!


Okay, here's the deal, honey.


There's an unspoken rule in Hollywood that all "sexy roles" must go to "sexy girls" who get horny the major plotline-- and take a shower with perky breasts: it's how Hollywood gets men to fill movie seats!

Let agree finally that all that "serious acting" with any deep-message must go to Kathy Bates (and please make sure she keeps her clothes on).